To all of you followers

I have noticed I have some new followers on this blog. I am now putting all my posts at ourtrisomy18angel.blogspot.com
SO PLEASE if you want to follow add yourself as a follower to that blog site since it is the one I am posting on it is titled Mackinley Ann...

The new blog ... feel free to follow

here is the address for the new blog about Mackinley... I only realized today that the link is not on the older post... PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FOLLOW US ON THIS JOURNEY... I am now 30 weeks and counting down the days to hello and dreading the days to goodbye..... the link is
ourtrisomy18angel.blogspot.com

Taking the bad with the good

The Doctor's office called me on Tuesday and said that they wanted me in for the next avaliable unltrasound. This happened to be today at 11:15. So We have learned that Mackinley is still 3 weeks behind in size. And all of the original problems still exist. Her kidney's are functioning and she has a "normal" amount of amniotic fluid around her for now. But, they found a heart defect, instead of the 4 chambers of her heart being seperate the bottom 2 open into each other, and so do the top two.. So we will take the bad with the good and continue to wait for when our Heavenly Father calls her home. I am excited to have these new pictures of her. And no her skin isn't bumpy it is smooth like all babies tha is just how the pictures look when done in 4D....

a new blog

For all of you following this blog, I was locked out and hacked, for several days and because of this re-did my blog and moved it to another site. It is too valuable to me. Since I plan on having it done into a book for us to keep
you are more then welcome to continue to follow it at

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT

A new perspective

As the holiday season approaches I have been thinking a lot about why we celebrate this time of year. I guess you could say I have a new perspective. Christmas is to celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. We have been blessed with the opportunity to provide a body to a beautiful baby girl that I believe is so perfect that all she needs is a body so that she can return to her Heavenly Father. Without the willingness of our of Father in Heaven to allow his son Jesus Christ to come to earth and gain a body so that he could suffer and die for us it wouldn't be possible for us to be with Mackinley again.
This new perspective makes me so thankful for a loving Savior that was willing to be born in a lowly stable so that the plan of salvation would be carried out. So while many celebrate the birth of Christ I will not only celebrate that but I will celebrate that it has blessed me with the opportunity to one day hold our beautiful baby Mackinley again and have her forever.

Everyday life

We are trying to keep life as normal as possible. And just keep going. I long for those things I won't get to have right now with Mackinley and yet sometimes my 3 kids make me crazy and I wish for peace and quiet. I often look at Jordyn and think after goin through this I will just be grateful for the three healthy kids I have.
I had a sweet boy come up to me at school today and tell me. "My mom says we can buy a present and give it to you for your baby." What do you say to something like that....
The closer it gets to my due date the more presseure I feel to get everything ready for the time to let her go. There is so much to do to be ready. The hardest part is knowing how many people to expect. And how to get my children through this.

Ups and downs

So last night I lay in bed and right before I go to sleep I always listen to Mackinley with the heart monitor (THANK YOU KARRIE/ MARY and JASON) and everytime I would find her heart beat she would kick the monitor. It was hilarioius. I know she was kicking it because I would feel it move in my hand. It was like she was saying to me "I'm fine mom. Leave me alone so I can sleep." I am learning on this roller coaster of life that no matter how far down the ride may go, if you look for them there are always ups. Even if they last but a moment.
As Jared and I work on preparations for when it is time to let her go. We decided that we will have a small memorial service then the grave side service. A part of me feels as though I should speak at the memorial service but I don't think I am strong enough for that... It's hard to know what to do. I never imagined I would be burying a baby.