After reflecting back on my week last week I have decided that time off of work is not a good thing. Last week we ha da full week off for Thanksgiving because of snow days. And while I was hoem with my kids and had things to do my mind wasn't completely occupied like it is when I am at work. And I FELL APART. I cried like I cried after the trip to Ogden.
Today I went back to work. And my day was so much better. and everytime someone asks me how I am doing it helps. It helps me to talk about her. Whether Mackinley is born alive or not she will always be my fourth child and always a part of my family.
I was given an AMAZING gift today. A friend brought by the most beautiful picture of a mother's hands with baby feet inside of them and a quote by Helen keller that says, "What we have once enjoyed we can never los. All that we love becomes a part of us." THANK YOU KATIE!!! You are answer to a broken heart and many prayers.
While this will be hard and might break me for a while, I will be forever thankful that while not in this life I will have Mackinley always as a part of me. And hold her in the here-after.
A big thank you to Katie from here also. Kassey, I promise, you won't break Baby, you will just bend. It will be a good hard stretch, but you will not break. She will always be a part of all of you. There will be many times you will feel of her presence and recognize it.
ReplyDeleteGive your partner in crime a hug and those other beautiful children a hug!!
This blog is an excellent idea. It will make a terriffic book. It will encourage others who face this enourmous mountain and hlep them to know that they too can endure.
Love you guys!!
Mom
I'm so glad you like it. I used to really hesitate to talk about such heartbreaking loss, but when Josh's cousin lost her baby to Trisomy 18, she said that it was better for her when people said the wrong thing instead of nothing at all because it meant that they were trying to comfort her and she knew they were thinking of her grief. So I've resolved to try to say the right thing, and hope that when the wrong thing comes out that you'll know it was said with good intentions. I'm glad the wall hanging came out right. :)
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