Tears and a name

I don't cry as much now. Life has become somewhat mechanical. When people ask I feel myself go numb as I give an answer almost as though it has been rehearsed for a movie, or play. Sometimes I don't even realize I am talking. I am 24 weeks now. And instead of looking forward to not being pregnant I wish that I could keep her safe within me forever. I am afraid that when the time comes I will not have the strength I need. Everday I pray for her to live long enough for us to be able to hold her and tell her how we love her, and can't wait to see her again. Sometimes I wish I could run out of tears. I only cry at home. But that often happens when the kids are asleep and JAred is at work.
This past year I had 2 very close friends pass away. They both had Ann in their name. So Jared picked Mackinley for her first name and her middle name will be Ann to honor them. Dear Mackinley Ann I will never run out of tears for you.